Sesshy's Story
by Sesshomaru'sbabygirl
Summary: Here's why Sesshomaru REALLY hates his brother,...or is he really his brother? you kinda either hate or love this one X
1. Chapter 1

Oh, yes, they all know the story. I supposedly hate my little brother because he's a half-demon and a stain on our family line. I hate humans because they are weak beings with no sense of pride, dignity or compassion.

Uh-huh. Yeah. When you decide to tell a story you need to make sure you have all of your facts straight.

Because most of them are very, very wrong.

I do not hate my brother because of his heritage. I do not hate humans because of their weaknesses. After all, Inuyasha is family and of course all creatures have weaknesses.

I do not even hate them at all. Neither my brother nor humans. My nature is to be distrusting, and I cannot help it. Inuyasha isn't even my brother.

He just so happens to be my son.

Oh, yes, gasp! You didn't know my little secret? Well, of course, you do now. I just told you. Surprised? I should hope so. You are currently the only person alive who knows.

It started as just an affair. Lady Izayoi and myself were quite happy together, courting, and wooing. I had hoped to make her my mate that season, as I was going into heat and it was getting to be too difficult to suppress my, umm…urges.

She accepted my proposal, and we were splendid together. We took our time performing the binding ceremony, as there was no hurry. All those months of just the two of us, together for what seemed the happiest time of my life.

Until he came back.

My father had been away on a mission to protect the western borders. I had forgotten how long he had been away, but all that was important at the time was that the conniving bastard was back. What to do now? My beautiful love and I were just settling into our new life, and now _he_ had to come and ruin it!

I tried to keep my new wife from him, but it was the stupidest thing I could have done. Trying to hide my beloved right underneath my father's very powerful nose. I regret that decision with all of my broken heart.

Of course, he found her. It didn't even take him 3 days. He had sniffed her out by what he had picked up from me. At first, I suppose he assumed I had taken a servant to my bed. As if I would lower myself, but then again I did fall in love with a human-and I found that I didn't feel that I had lowered myself at all. I was quite happy with my _ningen, _my _koishii_. She was my reason for living, and he literally tore her from me.

I could have killed him.

He found her one night when I had been sent on a mission to the northern lands. I was thousands of miles away and I heard my beloved's screams. I raced back as fast as I could, but I was too late. There he was, grunting over her like the pig he was. He looked over at me and asked me how I liked to see my woman with him. Izayoi was reaching for me, screaming for me to save her.

And I tried I really did. I fought my father with everything I had, but he was too strong. He didn't even get off her, the bastard, while he fought me.

In the end, I was sent retreating to nurse my wounds in the shadows of the forest.

I was in agony, not being able to go to my lover. I could hear her calling out for me each night, and each night I couldn't save her. It was my duty as her mate to protect her, and I had failed. Failed miserably.

I kept my distance from her and my father, even from the castle. I stayed hidden in the western forests, secretly keeping an eye on my tragic beloved. As the months past, I saw her kimono tent, slowly but surely.

She was expecting a pup.

It took me 6 moons to realize this; I was still pining for our lost love. But when I did, I went to the village elder, and asked her what herbs a woman would need when carrying a child. It took my three days, but I was able to find all of them in the forest that was my domain, and I brought them to Izayoi. I would lay them on her temple seat in the garden, where she always sat in the afternoons. She would come out, see them and gather them under her outer kimono. She would look around, as if expecting to find me nearby, and then hurry inside.

Maybe she put them in her room to hide, or maybe she gave them to the cook, and asked her to make her some tea. I never knew. She could have just as easily thrown them out for all I could tell.

It was nearing 9 moons when I no longer saw her out in the gardens. I came every day looking for her, but found no trace. I supposed that she was too near to her time, and it took too much out of her to come outside. After I had not seen her for two weeks, I began to worry. How long did these things last? Would it take several days for the pup to be born? Where was my _koishii_?

That night, after all had gone to bed, I decided to look in on my beloved. I crept to her window, and slipped in, unnoticed by the guards, as they had been trained to accept my scent as usual. I moved swiftly and silently through her chambers, looking for her, until I came to her bedchambers.

There she was. Standing over an exquisite cradle, a blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. She was humming softly, rocking from side to side. I saw a tiny-clawed hand reach up out of the blanket towards Izayoi, and heard it coo to her.

There was my love, holding our child.

I watched her walk over to a cushioned futon, and sit down. Her haori and kimono slipped from her shoulder, and I watched as she held her precious burden to her breast. Suckling sounds emitted from the babe, and one hand reached up to knead its mother's breast.

The bundle slipped slightly, and I saw two hanyou-puppy ears nestled in a thatch of thick silver hair.

'My god.' I thought. 'Our child is gorgeous.'

I decided to come out of the shadows then, and approached the new mother. At first, all she saw was my figure moving in the darkness, and she flinched, ready to protect her baby with her life. I bent down, so that my face was close to hers, and even in the darkness, I saw her beautiful face lighten with recognition.

A tear trickled down her face as she told me, "You shouldn't be here." But she threw her free arm around me, hugging me close to her. I gripped her tightly in my embrace, ecstatic to have her in my arms again. We shared a tender kiss, and I pulled back to get a good look at my offspring.

"He's a boy. I've named him Inuyasha." She told me, and pulled the blanket away from his face.

He was so tiny, so fragile. His head was smaller than my hand, and his arms were so little. He didn't look at me at first, so intent was he on his meal, but after he was fed, I got to hold my son. I had been terrified that I was going to drop him, or hurt him somehow, but Izayoi convinced me otherwise. Once he was placed in my arms, I noticed how light he was; he weighed no more than a feather!

He had my amber eyes, and I even saw a hint of my stubborn chin that would come with age. Thank god, both of those traits were also my father's or the bastard would have murdered my pup. He was growing old, though even if he wasn't he wouldn't have been able to tell my son from his by smell. Since I was his son, my offspring would only inherit the paternal side of me, so that he could be recognized as part of my clan. He would never know the pup was mine.

I cuddled my baby to me for the first, and the last time. After this it would no longer even be safe to stay in the forest, in case the old man suspected something. If he ever found out, the things he would do to them…

I cradled Inuyasha to my heart, and spoke softly into his hair, that so resembled my own.

"These words I speak to you my son, you will only hear from me once. Know that I will always love you. Know that above all things. Know that I want you to grow up to have a long, happy life with your mother. Know that I am proud of you.

"Live long, Inuyasha. Take heed the knowledge you suck from your mother's breast, and all she shall teach you after. She will always love you, Inuyasha. Always." I stoked his little puppy ears, and watched as he drifted off to sleep in my embrace, listening to the steady beat of my heart.

" Goodbye, my son." I placed him again in his cradle, and kissed his soft baby cheek, gazing longingly at him. I wanted nothing more than to stay here with my mate and my pup, but I knew I couldn't. _He_ would kill us all, and I refused to risk their lives.

I held Izayoi in my arms for as long as I dared, sharing sweet kisses and caressing her face. When the sun was near to rising I embraced her one last time. I took her lips for mine, and wished for different things. Wished for impossible things.

We reluctantly broke apart, and I bent down to place a kiss on her cheek. My lips lingered for a scant moment, and then trailed to her ear.

"_Koishii_, know that you are the only woman that I will, and ever love." I stared into the bottomless pools of her luxurious brown eyes, and tears poured from my own amber. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!

Leaving had been the hardest thing I had ever done.

I stayed in the Northern lands for a time, several years in fact. I received news not long after I left my darlings that my father had died.

I could again lay claim to my family!

I raced back towards the castle where my beloveds had once lived.

And I found ruins.

A fellow demon, one who used to work for my family, told me the palace had caught fire, and that that was how my father had perished. I eagerly asked him the whereabouts of Izayoi and Inuyasha, and he had said that they were never found.

His words hit me to the core.

My darlings, gone? No. No, it couldn't be. They were safe somewhere, somewhere hidden in the forest-they had to be.

I left my former servant, and shot off into the forest, searching with my nose for my loves. I searched for hours. Which turned into days, which turned into weeks, and months, and finally; one year I had been looking.

And found nothing.

I gave up hope after that. If **I** hadn't found them, who would? No one but me was capable of such.

Years of denial gave way to hardening of my heart; I had lost my sanity, you see. They had never truly loved me-if they had, they would have come with me that night despite the risks. If they had, I would not be standing here blindly looking for something that did not want to be found!

And then that day came; they day I saw him. He was a young man then, probably 15 winters. He was clothed in the fur of the fire rat; obviously a gift from my father to his beloved "son".

I was angry.

I should have been the one to give him that. Father should have passed it down to me, to give to my firstborn.

But, no. He gives it to _him_.

I hate him.

And so it began.


	2. Author's explanation

Ok, I figured that I should explain the ending, since a lot of readers have asked me questions about it, and commented. I dunno, I don't think I wrote it very well, but here is what I was going for:

Sesshomaru is pretty much insane after (he believes that) he has lost his mate and child. His mind is so twisted around the fact that his father took them from him, and now they're dead, and he's pretty much lost it. When he sees that not only did his son survive, but his father had protected him, in his mind, he cannot grasp _why_ InoTaisho would have saved him. He is _so_ wrought with grief, anger, confusion, and sorrow that his thinking isn't the clearest.

When he sees his son, it helps him on his way to some level of sanity. That's why he thinks he has to hate him, in order to keep him safe. Because, if he had done that in the first place with Izayoi, she would never have been hurt.

So, I hope this helps to clear up any confusion, and helps to understand my strange reasoning!

Happy reading and writing!

Sesshy's baby girl


End file.
